7 Signs He's Using You (2025)

Subtle Warning Signs Can Evolve Into Major Red Flags

The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. When you first start casually seeing or even dating someone, it can be so easy to overlook the little things that don’t feel totally “right.”

Unfortunately, though, these seemingly minor warning signs often turn out to be major red flags that you’re being taken advantage of.

Here Are 7 Signs He’s Using You

Regardless of whether you like or even love the guy you’re with, being used by them can be heartbreaking, particularly when you’ve already invested your time, energy, and emotions into starting something new.

Relationships should be built on mutual respect and trust, not one-sided effort or manipulation. So, if you’ve begun questioning whether he truly cares about you or is just benefiting from what you offer, don’t ignore your instincts. Here are seven signs he might be using you.

1. He Doesn’t Make An Effort To Spend Quality Time With You

When a man truly cares, he will make time for you, not excuses. Yet, the guy you’re seeing might constantly cancel plans, show up late, or act disinterested whenever you’re together. Sadly, these are all clear indicators that he doesn’t view your relationship as a priority.

Effort is the backbone that stands up all healthy connections, and when that’s missing, you will inevitably be left feeling unimportant and undervalued. Someone who doesn’t take the initiative to reach out and enhance your relationship (or who always puts their own needs first) could be using you for convenience rather than something “real.”

2. His Communication Is Shoddy

At the same time, if he only ever texts or calls when he needs something or disappears for days without any explanation, it’s another telltale sign that he’s not really invested in you.

We’ve all seen the phrase, “If he wanted to, he would,” on social media, and it couldn’t be more true. A man who cares will show you through his actions, and sporadic communication suggests otherwise.

So, if you frequently find yourself waiting for a check-in or wondering why you hardly hear from him, you might be better off cutting your losses and moving on.

3. He Doesn’t Introduce You To His Loved Ones

When someone is serious about you, they’ll want to integrate you into every part of their life, including introducing you to their friends and family.

That’s why if he’s hesitant to bring you into his inner circle or keeps your relationship under wraps, it might mean he doesn’t see a future with you. Even worse, it could suggest that he’s actually hiding something, such as another relationship.

True partners aren’t kept at arm’s length, so if you feel tucked away or compartmentalized, don’t ignore it.

4. He Avoids Discussing Commitment Or The Future

A guy who’s looking for something serious and sees a potential future with you isn’t going to shy away from conversations about commitment. So it’s not a good sign if he seems uncomfortable, gives you vague answers, or flat-out dodges any conversations about where your relationship is headed.

Conversely, remember that talking the talk is one thing, but walking the walk is another. He may claim that he loves you and wants things to progress, yet his actions (or lack thereof) say otherwise. Pay attention to dismissive behavior or lack of effort surrounding commitment because it will often reveal someone’s true intentions.

5. There’s No Romance, And He Only Seems To Want One Thing

When a man really cares about you, he’ll naturally want to create memorable and meaningful experiences together. He will plan dates, surprise you with little thoughtful gestures, and simply enjoy spending time with you.

However, if the romance is totally absent and the only time he acts charming is when he wants something physical, it’s a blatant sign you’re being used. Take stock of what you want out of this relationship. If it’s more than that, you should move on and find someone who wants all of you, not just what you can offer at the moment.

6. He Has A Bad Track Record With Dating

It can be unfair to judge someone based solely on rumors, but it’s also important not to disregard repeated patterns. The guy you’re seeing might have a reputation for using people, whether that’s for money, attention, or convenience, and that kind of track record is worth paying attention to.

While you might believe in giving people second chances, recognizing how he has treated past partners can give you a baseline for reference. And if you realize that his behavior towards you mirrors what you’ve heard about him before, it may mean that he hasn’t changed his ways.

7. You Have A Gut Feeling He’s Not Genuinely Interested In You

Sometimes, no matter how much you try to rationalize it, there is just a nagging feeling in your gut that won’t go away. Your intuition is a powerful tool designed to protect you, and if you frequently feel that a man is distracted, indifferent, or emotionally distant, you should trust your instincts.

Relationships are supposed to feel safe, not push you to overthink and question someone’s every move. Listen to your inner voice because it might be telling you a hard truth that your heart doesn’t want to hear.